One of my favorite sayings - which still this holds true.
I recently lost a good friend that I enjoyed being with. His grand daughter asked if there was one word that described her grandfather. My answer was "RESPECT". Harry accepted everyone as they were and was not judgmental. Everyone sees the world from a slightly different and unique view. The other key word is "EMPATHY" that means trying to understanding the viewpoint and actions of others and why they have made the decisions they have made. These two attributes are lacking in the rancor of leadership today in the medical field and the political field. True leaders need these attributes. Lawsuits would disappear if these attributes dominated. My view.
This is a very enlightened approach to protect your personal mental health! Be the change you wish to see in the world...Gandhi
The durable shelf life of Monty Python has very few competitors
This was excellent. It also reminded me of a saying that hung at the nurses station in the operating room, according to my husband (who is a retired anesthesiologist): "Everyone here brings joy. Some when they arrive; others when they leave". (many a pompous surgeon apparently fit the "asshole" description). Also, one of the points you made was that "power breeds nastiness". The first person that popped into my head was Biden. He was already a nasty individual, but his nastiness has grown exponentially since occupying the White House.
I already ran across one guy writing on here and all of his blogs were attacking you or someone else. I quickly unsubscribed from him.
I was on Facebook for around 12 years and noticed how many assholes would never post an opinion of their own. They just attacked what others had to say.
When Facebook started allowing the spreading of their Deep State and medical disinformation and blocking true information and gave me a 24 hour block for stating something truthful from Good Medical Doctors not liking the dictator jab, I pulled the plug on my business page and personal page with almost 4000 friends. I had already blocked a lot of the assholes but some of them still put up new pages.
I miss some good friends but sure don't miss the assholes!
Thank you for addressing this rarely discussed topic. I agree 100% about the contagion of asshole-ism. I've seen it in too many work environments and am so happy to now be in a place that is seemingly asshole-free and works hard to keep it that way. Yes, I too have been one at times and really work to police myself from being one again. One thing I will often do is wait on making a comment or sending off an angry email reply until I can go back and reread it 24 hours later. It has saved me from making more than a few regrettable comments.
Thank you for your time to write us. I feel sure the topic was spurred by the events of the day. Indeed, we are surrounded by folks who show their disrespect daily in ways that only the 21st century could foster. Remember when confronted that you are loved and cherished by us and the God of the universe. Dr. B
Drs Malone - you have my highest respect and gratitude for continuing to fight the good fight.
Stuff I've read/heard and try to practice:
Build don't break.
Praise in public, correct in private.
We are all broken. Every single one of us. Cut the traveler next to you some slack and if you're having a similar broken moment, try your best to walk away.
This is why I can't support Trump, despite siding with him on a number of important things.
Dr Malone! Where has your book been my entire career!!! With the exception of a research job at UT MD Anderson, I've needed this book for every pharma company I've worked, big or small.
Will order stat. 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much for addressing this issue! I quit my job in 2013 to walk away from assholes (not my boss, but others, for whom I became enemy no 1 even more when they heard that I quit). I became a self-employed lawyer and since then choose my colleagues, clients and even subjects. No assholes as far as possible - and here it is: you can’t avoid them at all - privately or business-related. So this book recommendation is gold! Your advice is gold! I feel so blessed to got to know you - and frankly- unbelievable that without this “pandemic” it would have never happened to get to know you, meet you and learn so much from you - every day!!!! - presumably for a lot of us. All the best for you, Jill, the horses and dogs from Vienna, Bettina
The simple truth is we all act like an asshole from time to time. The difference is that true assholes never admit or apologize. They revel in it.
An almost equal truth - when someone says their organization has a "no assholes rule," it's probably a requirement, not a disqualification.
Well said! It’s one of the reasons I left traditional social media platforms. I try to be very straight forward, but since there are no emotional (facial expression or body language) cues, one must say things in a way as to validate another person’s humanity.
This is a wonderful column, especially since I just quit a job largely to get away from such things!! I was a consultant for 23 years, and like you, Dr. Malone, got to "fire clients". It is so freeing! Returning to "employment" the next 11 years, I've had to suffer my share of assholes, both peers and especially managers. I'm retiring, maybe to do a little contract work here and there, but am done with Asshole Theater (also called "employment").
God Bless you for sharing the range of knowledge and experience you share here. My favorite read!
Been a free-follower for a while now. Just subscribed so I can express my thanks for what you are doing, and this article in particular. Too many of these individuals in my past. Didn't always get away nearly soon enough, so your reminder is welcome. And, the Python skit is perfect! ;-)
Avoid rich, powerful people, whether or not they're assholes.
Try to tolerate and understand aggressive behavior when it comes from someone less powerful than you. See if you can promote their healing.
Take care of yourself with exercise, meditation, and a healthy diet. Depend on a community of people who will help you to be your best self even when other people's behavior is challenging.